Right now is a weird period in my life.. it is a huge time of transition and the time where i feel like i need God more than ever... I have to wake up daily and even through out the day surrender my life to Him because i constantly worry... i have to say when i don't worry, life is good and i really have no reason to complain. i miss the hustle and bustle of sb and always having people around but without everyone around i am able to draw closer to God in a different way. i can take my walks and see Him in creation and the more and more i study for bio.. i see Him.. it's pretty awesome.. BUT i know i can't be confident in myself... and this takes me to one of my fav humans in the Bible... everyone always says paul but i have to say mine is peter.. and i'll tell you why... here's his story.. retold by justine (so i would recommend that you actually see what the Bible has to say 'cause well can you really trust my memory?) peter was this fisherman... and from reading his description he was well off in the fishing business because he owned his own boats and nets and all that good fishing stuff. then.. one day.. this one dude named Jesus (you know just the Son of God! but i guess peter didn't know it at the time, maybe he had an inkling but that's just speculation) just comes up to Peter when he was cleaning his nets in the sea of galilee... He says to peter "Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men" (NIV translation).. and peter LEAVES EVERYTHING.. and follows Jesus.. great beginning huh? so peter is one of Jesus' 12 disciples and is super close... he witnesses Jesus do all of this crazy stuff only God Himself could do... He was with Jesus... He had his ups like when he acknowledged that Jesus is the Christ.. and he had a lot a lot of downs... im gonna focus on his three denials... but before i get there... the night before that would happen, Jesus told His followers that all of them will fall away... and Peter was bold enough to say...no! even if all fall away, i will not... Jesus says yes why yes you will and Peter says again he will not and then Jesus said you will deny me three times before the rooster crows. (this part is something that i think i heard from calvary sb) at this point... Peter wasn't lying... he truly believed with all his heart that he loved Jesus that much that he would never leave Him... but guess what, Jesus was right.. Peter did deny Him three times... and when Peter heard the rooster crow he wept bitterly because he realized what he had just done... fast forward... after Christ's death and resurrection, Peter is back where he started... he is back at the sea of galilee fishing, as he had always done (i never noticed before i heard it recently)... and there.. where Christ first found him, the risen Christ finds him again... and He says the same thing.. come.. follow me.. despite everything Peter has done against Christ, Christ calls him to follow, again... and Peter's life was changed forever... after Pentecost when the Spirit came upon Peter and the other followers, Peter proclaims Jesus as Lord and Savior of his own life and of the world.. the same peter who had once denied Christ 3 times... now proclaims to the world who Jesus. The transformation is crazy. A few things stand out to me. 1)Never say never, because the sin i think i will never get in could be the every next sin i commit. You see that with peter... he believed with all his heart that he would never leave Jesus... and that is exactly what happens... I cannot be confident in myself, i can only be confident in God. 2)"Only the obedient have faith, and only those who have faith are obedient"-Boenheoffer ill explain more about this quote later all you gots ta know right now is that these two cannot be separated because a separation comes a twist that is detrimental (Boenheoffer).. but how i see it in peter is that... peter was obedient before he had faith in who Jesus was.. all He said was come follow me... and Peter followed... with that faith was able to grow... BUT at the same time peter would not have been given that opportunity to have faith unless Jesus, God Himself, offered it to him... ever since i read about that, it's been blowing my mind.. 3) OH How He loves... Jesus comes to peter, this second encounter transforms his life forever... so much more to say but its late.. gots ta sleep! update later | 
